OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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