That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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