so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Randomize