i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
