I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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