I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
