hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
