Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
