i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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