so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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