My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
