maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
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