it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
