doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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