She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
