waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize