you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
