If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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