What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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