Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
