She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
