I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
