I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
