if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
