How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Welp...herpes.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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