i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
