I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
