I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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