So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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