Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
