Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
