I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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