You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
