We're facebook friends in real life
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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