I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
