My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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