Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
