This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I understand Curling. That high.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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