i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
handjob tips. give me some.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
