i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
