I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
