Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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