I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
