I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
