I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
