I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
