:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
