it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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