oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I supernannyed him into submission
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize