Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
