those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
