I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
