who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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