I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
