YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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