Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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