she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
