i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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