Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize